I hope you had a great weekend! Thanks for the amazing feedback on the last post; I'll be sharing more on that topic and similar others very soon.
SO, I sincerely stuck to that compass calibration plan through yesterday evening. In other words, I was extremely antisocial, relaxing on my couch 90 percent of the weekend with just my dog by my side.
Not that I'm so popular, but I ended up saying no to a lot of invitations to do stuff this weekend (think: hangouts with friends, group workouts, housewarming party, etc.). I truly felt bad to do that - turn down people I adore - but having a weekend of zero plans was actually really nice. And after awhile, saying no even felt pretty liberating.
It was two and a half days of no timeline, no appointments to stick to, and the freedom to just relax.
Not to mention the yoga class I've religiously attended every Saturday morning at the crack of dawn was moved on the studio schedule, so I didn't even feel pressure to wake up early for a workout (and my boyfriend took care of the morning dog walks). All of the above combined with the preceding work week of zero plans (besides a regular work day) definitely helped me recharge and get back to normal.
I'm a chronic scheduler, planner, and type A to the extreme in that I always feel like I should and could fit in everything that is asked of me - from personal, social requests to work tasks. I wrote an essay about this once before, but I do genuinely believe it's okay to say no... I just don't always have the easiest time doing it.
And honestly, I think it's a bit subconscious, too. As in, I don't always realize I'm overcommitting myself, or plain out committing to stuff I don't actually want to do until it's too late.
Is that weird? Is anyone else like that?
A few months ago, I read The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck for my book club, and although it wasn't anything particularly groundbreaking, it was sort of nice to have that reaffirmation that it was OKAY to say no to stuff. Even people or activities you feel like you should be saying yes to regardless of your interest level or overall bandwidth.
As a result, I had thought I was getting a little bit better at saying no.... but I've come to realize that's not really the case. :) SO, I'm going to work on that!
First up, more weekends where I commit to not committing.
I feel like that makes me sound like a horribly selfish person, or even a teensy bit flaky, but I think it actually will protect against both of those outcomes. I consider flakiness to be one of the worst character traits a person can have, and something I have always strived to avoid. In other words, if I say I'm going to be somewhere or do something, I'm going to do it, barring a medical issue or natural disaster. And doing something you actually don't want to be doing sort of stinks, no? That's almost as bad as flaking in certain situations. Plus, and maybe even more importantly, it's extremely unfair to yourself, as well as whoever the commitment directly affects or includes. You know?
I mean, just do what makes you happy (or that you know you must-do-unless-the-world-is-on-fire need - like attend your sister's baby shower or turn in a big work deliverable, for example). And say no when you do not want to do xyz, or just really cannot (whether that's for the sake of your mental health or overall timing of other existing commitments, etc.). The end.
Moral of the story: say yes OR no when you need to, but mean it always.
And with that, I'm off to handle this Monday.