I'm usually a very positive person. Almost obnoxiously so, just about since birth. I have always looked for the bright side and assumed the best. It has come naturally, easily, even in the face of some of the most difficult situations and life's obstacles.
Lately, though, I find myself feeling an unusual struggle to stay optimistic.
To be brief (and as undramatic as possible - promise), I've spent the last couple of years or so on and off looking for a new job. I love what I work on and the career path I've had for the last 7-ish years, but I have been itching for a change. Amongst other things I will not air on the world wide web, I don't necessarily love working from home full-time as I do, and also have long wanted more of a challenge and creativity in my professional life. And so, for the last, ehhhh, 1.5 years, I have job hunted, which has meant nothing more than a continuous stream of rejections or being ignored about 89% of the time.
(Disclaimer: I know I am beyond lucky to have a job period, especially one with a good, solid paycheck. Believe me, I am grateful for that and I know 1000% that there are far larger difficulties one can face in life than being rejected from new job opportunities, especially when already employed. Truly, truly - I know.)
I have a pretty tough skin, but come on guys! Eventually that much professional rejection can get to even the most resilient person. Today alone I've received three via email. At least space them out, universe! I am confident in my skills/experience/intelligence/resume, but that doesn't make the rejections sting less, or make it any less frustrating overall.
In semi-related news, my boyfriend and I recently decided to make the move up to Los Angeles after he was offered a pretty fabulous new job. While this is amazing on many levels and I'm beyond proud of what this career move has meant for my boyfriend, it has shook me more than I had anticipated when we were just daydreaming about the possibility of moving somewhere different. After having had to move many times in the past decade due to school and work, I genuinely love it here in Orange County - friends, routine, way of life - and had no real desire to leave. It's become home over the last couple of years, and I had felt like I'd be here for many more years.
Between those two chunks of life happenings, I'm not feeling my regular positivity flowing quite as steadily as it used to. I'm trying though! Maybe those positive pants are in the wash?
It's been easy to fall into the trap of thinking things will never change in my career, or that I'm not qualified enough or good enough.... you know, any of the "____-enoughs." Similarly, it's also been easy to focus on the aspects I'll be missing in this upcoming city move rather than what I'll (and my little fam) will be gaining -- like reconnecting with old friends from college, access to amazing restaurants and culture, etc. And hello, it's only less than an hour up the road........without traffic. :)
Since Lent kicks off today, i.e., the 40 days leading up to Easter, I figured it might be a good time to make focusing on the positive more of an emphasis in my life. Over the course of Lent, I'm going to make a daily gratitude list in an effort to shine a light on the positive things in my life, because I know there's a lot! Sometimes the clouds can overshadow the sunshine, but doesn't mean it's actually gone altogether. We need to give more power to the good and less to the negative or the uncertain.
SO, here we go! And yes, Jay-Z's "Dust your shoulders off" mantra does apply here. ;)
Thanks for reading! xo